Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Republicans Eating their own

Scott McClellan’s new book called “What’s Happening,” has the slime machine at GOP-HQ freaking out. They’re pulling out all the stops to try and hide the fact that everything Scotty wrote is “duh, knew it already.” That is to say, Bush is a liar, Rove is a liar, and Cheney is a liar.

Still, that didn’t stop Rove & Co from denying that he had any part of anything while being called “the architect.”
Schaudenfraud – the German word for taking pleasure in another's misery. Saying it even feels good as it rolls off the tongue. It’s even better when witnessed on every punditocracy propaganda network.

Sunday, May 25, 2008

No Life On Mars Will Be Found

NASA landed another probe on the surface of Mars today. In search of the building blocks of life, and possibly, against all odds, life itself in the northern region where they suspect frozen water exists.

How much do you want to bet that NASA is NOT going to find any life on Mars?

How do I know?

Their probe landed on the surface while simultaneously sterilizing the ground around the probe with its 10 super-hot rocket thrusters as it “soft-landed” on the surface.

Any life, microscopic or otherwise, was instantly killed under this brain fart of scam.

“NO LIFE FOUND ON MARS” will be the headline. It should be “No shit, Dip-stick.”

Then again, landing on the surface where organisms which have been preserved for millions, possibly billions of years, with rockets that burn at close the temperature of the Sun, was just a simple oversight.

Saturday, May 17, 2008

Kweef’s Law: Campaigning on the Issues

The MSM has been blamed for not focusing on the “issues” in this election cycle. In their defense, they have, just not the issues that are important to the American people.

You see, when Democrats are in the lead, the issues relate to a common good, such as health care, social security, defense, jobs, economy, and all things interconnected to good government.

When a Republican is in the lead, the debate, or “issues” are always personal to the candidates, an airing of their personality failure, their defects, phobias, and inadequacies. To the MSM, personal deficiency, or personal issues are a lot sexier than dull governmental minutiae.

Fox News is the manifestation of those psychological malfunctions. A news network tailored to the deep seated psychosis of George W. Bush, the nuttiest guy to hold the highest office. Here you have a president that doesn’t read, (unproven that he can actually read in the first place), hears voices in his head he believes come from God, and invades countries based on his gut feelings. He’s a tyrant in every sense of the word, and tyrants have more “issues” than anyone else in the room.

So remember, the playground rule applies here, when a Republican accuses Obama of a personal flaw, “The one who smelled it, dealt it.”

Friday, May 16, 2008

Biggest Kweefer Of The Week.

This week we are dedicating the prize of biggest Kweefer to George W. Bush for his complete lack of scruples and moral understanding of history and its lessons.

In a visit to Israel, pResident Bush accused Democrats of the same kind of appeasement that was done by Nevelle Chamberlin at the onset of WWII with the Nazi’s, which allowed the Holocaust to happen.

"We have heard this foolish delusion before,” said the Dumbass. “As Nazi tanks crossed into Poland in 1939, an American senator declared: 'Lord, if I could only have talked to Hitler, all this might have been avoided.' We have an obligation to call this what it is -- the false comfort of appeasement."

As far as I know, only one Democrat has ever said anything to a terrorist leader that could be construed as “appeasement,” the bone-head who said, “Impeachment is off the table.” Outside of whats-her-face saying that, not one Democrat has appeased any enemy of the state.

In fact, Barrack Obama’s grandfather served in WWII in the fight against Hitler. George W. Bush’s grandfather help finance Hitler through Brown Brothers Harriman, and built his family fortune off the slave labor of Auschwitz-Birkenau. Prescott Bush tried to over-throw the government of the United States. And Grand-dad was also a Yale disciple of the Eugenics Society of Connecticut which gave Hitler and the Nazi’s the idea of the “Final Solution” in the first place.

Yeah, the idea wasn’t German. It was from our aristocracy at Yale.

If there was one person in the whole world who shouldn’t be throwing stones in Israel, it would be anyone from the house of Bush.

Then this little weasel had the balls to stand before the Jews in Israel and claim it was people like Obama that were the problem.

The only intelligent thing to ever come out of Eugenics was in the 1927 case of Buck v. Bell, US Supreme Court Justice Oliver Wendell Holmes, writing for the majority said: “Three generations of imbeciles are enough.”

It’s just another case of not practicing what they preach. If Dubya had been a cum-stain on the sheets; he wouldn’t be a historical blemish on America.

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

GOP dont' worry. It’s not real, a myth.

Rest assured GOP, the humiliating loss in MS-01 last night by Democrat Travis Childers, means nothing. To help put things in perspective, there’s a whole lot more evidence that Global Warming is real than there is that you’re in election trouble in ’08.

Sure, the polls don’t look good and three solid seats that you’d thought you’d have until the end of time have been lost, but think of it as the Northern icecap, no real equity has really been lost.

And yes, political analysts and pundits are spouting theories of your eventual doom. But, those are just theories, kinda like that whole “round earth” theory, which your advocates of Intelligent Design claim are false. They’re just theories, like “gravity.”

Even though the climate conditions that created the greatest natural disaster in the history of this country swallowed New Orleans. There is no reason to believe that the political conditions you’ve created by your own hand will garner the same result.

Please, do as you’ve asked us to do in Iraq…stay the course. Continue with your message of stealing from the poor to give to the rich, the American people love hearing it.

While you’re at it, bail out a few more Bankers while sticking it to home owners. Those who dream of owning a home are just greedy bastards anyway. And if you have time, give the Oil Industry another huge tax break while we’re screaming toward $5 gallon. That would be awesome.

Don’t worry. The American people aren’t drawing any connection to their unemployment, their non-existent savings, rising debt, and collapsing country to your failed policies of greed, gluttony, cruel bigotry and blood lust. Nope, the American people are clueless.

You should execute the ’08 election like you’ve executed the War on Terror. Keep attacking the person who’s not running for office (Rev. Wright) and associate that person to one who is (Obama), kinda like attacking Saddam Hussein by linking him to Al Qaeda. They all look alike anyway.

Sure, that whole thing ended in a complete disaster, but that doesn’t mean anything. Just think of it like attacking Iran, surely that would garner a different result.

Stay the course, you’re doing fine. Come November, you’ll be greeted as liberators, with flowers thrown at your feet. Trust Me.

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Wife-Beater Strategy

It’s not their fault. We made them abuse us with all our nagging and demands that our needs came before their buddy’s wants. And, if we take them back, they pinky swear, never to abuse us again.

Indeed. Today a memo was sent out to all House Republicans by House Minority Leader John Boehner (R-Ohio) that a change in strategy for the 2008 election is under way.

Saying “Washington is broken, the American people want it fixed, and Democrats in Washington have proven unable or unwilling to get the job done. Republicans will. Americans have seen first-hand the change Democrats are making, and it is moving America in the wrong direction. To the American people, we say that Republicans will deliver ‘the change you deserve.’”

Who’s fault is it that Washington is broken, again? Who’s beat down every initiative the Democrats have put forth? Now they promise “the change we deserve?”

Since the GOP has complete and utter contempt for the American people, civil rights, and Democracy, the question comes down to the details. What do you think they believe what we DESERVE after 8 years of Bush? More abuse, or a clean break from the politics of the past?

Somehow, I don’t think they have any interest in our best interests.

The GOP is not shamed, they’re not sorry, they’re not contrite. No, they’re only upset because the American people took away their driving privileges. They don’t care about us or our children. They only want the power to tell you how to live your life while stealing your kids’ future and giving it to their friends to party with.

No, the GOP needs to be completely castrated of all its elected officials, shamed and humiliated beyond despair. Only then can the wife-beaters in Washington see the error of their ways, thrown out on the street and left with nothing except their own miserable lives.

Thursday, May 8, 2008

Welcome to Kweef...

Well here we are at the inaugural post of the Kweef and even before I’ve had a chance to complete the setup of the blog, Tucker Carlson and Joe Scarborough were kind enough to vomit forth an excellent reason for this blog’s existence.

I would even go so far as to adopt Carlson as the Kweef mascot because who better illustrates the point that the media is an institutionalized pussy-fart? (Bill O’Reilly comes in a second.)
Tucker tells us that he’s soooo happy that the Dems are getting ready to nominate Obama, because Obama is the “weaker candidate.” This is coming from the same guy who “believed” Rudy ‘9/11’ Giuliani was going to be the next president.
How’d that work out for you Tucker?