Kweef

SAW this coming.

2009-03-05T14:13:00.000-08:00

Have you ever watched one of those teen horror flicks where it is easy to see the stupid ones being killed off early. You scream at the screen, “Don’t go out into the woods you stupid idiot!”

As a lifelong Democrat, and rabid liberal, I’m going to offer the Republicans an option to get out of the mess they’re in right now. The one they must take, and only they can make it, if they want to end this wandering in the wilderness.

The Republicans must spearhead the criminal prosecution of the Bush administration.

A real criminal prosecution, not a flaccid exercise in procedural masturbation like a “Truth Commission,” but a full-blown torches and pitchforks demanding of a criminal trial and war-crimes tribunals.

Democrats won’t do it. Why is that?

Anytime a Republican wants to show he has found religion on the economy, Democrats whip out Bush.

Anytime a Republican wants to talk about Iraq, Democrats whip out Bush.

Anytime a Republican wants to talk about Healthcare Reform, Democrats whip out Bush.

Name the issue, and Bush screwed it up for the Republicans. They used to be the “Law and Order” people that got tough on crime.

Yeah, Bush really screwed them on that one. Bush’s buddies robbed more banks than Jessie James could in a million lifetimes, by going after the golden goose, the United States Treasury.

Republicans need to take away from the Democrats the well earned right of using Bush to show who got us here in the first place. It’s a gaping air-sucking wound on the country, and an almost terminal cancer on the GOP.

The Republicans must lead the most blood-thirstiest of mobs in demanding justice and the return for the rule of law. Or the old Vulcan saying, “Only Nixon could go to China.”

Republicans really don’t have much time either. They must go after Bush very, very soon, or we will enter a new political season and the tactic will look like simple partisan politics in a disingenuous “say anything” atmosphere. The Bush legacy will have metastasized on the GOP for a generation and their numbers in the congress will rival the Green Party.

The GOP used Jimmy Carter the way the Democrats are now using Bush, and the GOP did it for more than a generation. Bush’s legacy has got legs far beyond that, especially if Democrats keep dribbling out “newly discovered” documents to remind the people about Bush.

Now you may be asking yourself, “Why are you giving the Republicans advice that will actually work?”

The answer, because they won’t do it. They can’t.

They’ve sold their souls and their party, which now has a market value of AIG. They have no integrity, no morals, no ideas or direction. Most members of the GOP know better than us, they’re not qualified to be in the Congress, that their seats were paid for by corrupt organizations. Their Over-Lords will not let them do the only thing that can save them, remove the cancer of the Bush Legacy.

In the movie SAW, there was a scene where the psycho-killer gave his prey the option to cut off his own leg with a hacksaw, in the quickest time possible, or die.

The Republicans are in same position right now, and doing nothing but bitch about it. It’s kind of entertaining to watch, especially with buttered popcorn.

Prop 8: Right’s vs. Privilege

2008-11-09T19:20:00.000-08:00

In California, the Mormon’s decided that some people just don’t deserve certain “rights” like the ability to love and marry the person they chose regardless of sex or sexual orientation. The LDS church in Utah blew over $20 million on a campaign to pass Prop. 8, a constitutional amendment saying that only a man and woman can marry.

All I can say is Wow! That’s pretty ballsy coming from the polygamist sect of fringe Christianity.

Now the topic needs to be disguised about tax-exempt status. In the United States, any religion not involved in politics as “a major role” of its mission qualifies for tax-exempt status.

Being tax-exempt is not a right, it’s a privilege endowed by the good graces of the people of the United States. LDS’s tax-free privileges have clearly been abused by denying civil liberties to some people, while free-loading off those same people who finance the governmental services the LDS church enjoys.

I’m not saying that the LDS church isn’t entitled to their First Amendment right to say what they want, they are always free to do so. I’m saying they should pull their own weight in paying for the government they expect to enforce this religious mandate.

They can preach, speak, lobby or propose ballot initiatives all they want, but they should pay taxes just like the rest of us.

Revoke LDS’s tax-exempt status now!

Muthee Is A Liar: Witchcraft claims debunked.

2008-10-18T16:48:00.000-07:00

Bishop Thomas Muthee is a complete fuck-wad. He made claims that he harassed and banished an old woman, who he accused of witchcraft from a Kenyan village, (as if it was a virtue), but as it turns out Muthee lied about the whole thing.

Journalist Zoe Alsop, writing for Womensenews, tracks down Mama Jane Njengu, the supposed "witch" Muthee boasts of having run out of town, and finds some interesting discrepancies. It seems Muthee's account is disputed by his victim...Oops.

Alsop explains:

Muthee claimed that police rescued Mama Jane from a lynch mob at the time,
and then whisked her away for good after gunning down a pet python they mistook
for a demon.

But some residents of Kiambu were somewhat skeptical of Muthee's
claims.

Not least among them is the herbalist Jane W. Njenga, a pastor with
the African Mission of Holy Ghost Church, who is best known as Mama Jane.
She says she didn't own a pet python and she's never left her compound, located
about a half-mile from Muthee's immense new church...Robust and topping six feet
in the trademark shiny white robes of her church, Njenga is undeniably still in
town.

The Story has also been printed in the UK Daily Telegraph:

Bishop Thomas Muthee staked his early reputation in the town of Kiambu on boasts that he banished a witch named Mama Jane, whom he blamed for crime, traffic accidents and public drunkenness in town. Once she fled, Muthee claimed, her spell was broken and peace returned.

In fact, Mama Jane never left. She is a pastor just down the road from Muthee's Word of Faith Church.

‘Muthee was saying that this was a place of witch doctors - where do you see the witch?’ said Mama Jane, whose real name is Jane Njenga.

Muthee's claims tap into a powerful belief system across Africa. Evangelical Christian churches have become incredibly popular - there are 500 churches in Kiambu alone - but some religious leaders still exploit their followers' traditional belief in witchcraft and sorcery.

Muthee has been endorsed by C. Peter Wagner, leader of the Charismatic "New Apostolic Reformation", or “Third Wave” movement.

Wagner, a Col. Sanders looking fuck-wad from a bucket of KFC, a couple of months ago prophesized a glorious future for one evangelical leader, the only problem, he withdrew from public ministry following an affair.

Wagner is not your average theocrat. He’s one of the more militant pricks that makes Falwell and Robertson look warm and fuzzy. His books include such wonderful topics as “Dominion” which I assume includes domination over me. He’s also the author of the bed-side book “How to cast out Demons” for those looking for sugar-plums dreams, or useful tips in foreplay.

So I guess the moral of the story, Sarah Palin is not really protected against witchcraft and all she has to show for it is a youtube video that proves she’s a complete tool.

Couldn’t have happened to a nicer person.

The Palin Doctrine: Jesus was a terrorist

2008-10-09T15:44:00.000-07:00

Sarah Palin has been trying to draw a connection between Sen. Obama and Bill Ayers, a 60’s era radical who has since taken a job as a professor at the University of Illinois.

The extremely loose connection between Obama and Ayers has been thoroughly debunked, but let’s follow the Palin’s train of thought upon herself.

Palin, has proclaimed on video that she believes Jesus Christ is the son of God and worships and loves him.

Who were Jesus’ closest friends?

Murderers, thieves and Prostitutes.

What does that say about Jesus? What does that say about Palin, who worships this man?

Jesus was a convicted criminal, who was executed for his crimes. Why does Palin worship criminal behavior?

Palin is a card carrying member of the “Third Wave” movement, who believe in a Christian Theocracy, even a military coup for creating a theocratic government.

So too did Eric Rudolph, a devout Christian himself who killed doctors and bombed women’s clinics for Jesus. Does Sarah Palin agree with Eric Rudolph, a terrorist who was recently executed for his crimes too?

I think is quite plausible to assume that the reason Sarah Palin is trying to associate Obama with terrorism is that she’s projecting her own ambitions upon Obama. Sarah Palin is the real terrorist, and she has drawn us a map to that conclusion.

Sarah Palin: Greatest Mind of Salem 1692

2008-09-19T17:53:00.000-07:00

We already know Palin’s beliefs in “abstinence only” education, and the equally ironic teenage pregnancy of her daughter. We know that she was a huge supporter of making rape victims pay for their own rape-kits, but now we find out, she’s a huge supporter, a fan really, of Thomas Muthee the Kenyan Witch-hunter. Pastor Muthee is probably one of the most despicable humans to breathe our atmosphere. He gained political power in Kenya villages the through state sponsored terrorism of women. Muthee literally accuses women of witchcraft, and demands they either convert to his church, or leave town.

Now, you may be thinking this sound like an empty threat. However, that’s where the state terrorism comes into play. Muthee had the police conduct a raid on a local clinic, arrest the owner and shoot live rounds into the clinic. After a terrifying night at the hand of the local police who believed this woman an agent of the devil, she was released and summarily left town. The message had been sent, “Don’t cross Pastor Muthee, or something worse may happen to you.”

This is how Muthee converts, through sheer terrorism.

Apparently, Palin is in awe of this man and it’s becoming very apparent that Palin aspires to do the same.

Pastor Muthee has been a frequent guest at Palin’s Alaskan cult, the Wasilla Assemblies of God and Palin even credits her win as Governor to Pastor Muthee.

It’s become quite clear that Sarah Palin believes that her religious beliefs must be administered by the state. It’s only fair that since these beliefs will undoubtedly become national and international policies, much like, or even worse than the Bush administration, that “We the People” examine how perverse those philosophical differences are to our own values.

In truth, Sarah Palin is like beauty itself, only skin deep, and her ugly goes all the way to the bone.

Call McCain out on his Bullshit

2008-09-14T07:36:00.000-07:00

The McCain Campaign is repeating one of Obama’s greatest virtues as though it was a malfunction. “He’s never gone against his party on any issue…” says McFancyPantsOnFire. No one has pointed out that in the years Obama has been in the Senate, the Democrats have yet to be on the wrong side of an issue. Why would Obama buck the party when they’ve been doing the right thing?

Which issue would McBush like to have seen Obama buck his party? Abortion? Torture? Give less body armor to the troops? Give more tax breaks to the uber-wealthy, corporate crooks and robber barons? Let New Orleans drown?

I think it’s time for Democrats to ask McCain which issue he thinks Obama could have bucked his party. For McCain to buck his party is easy, they’re always wrong, but Obama has yet to make a decision that would jeopardize his morals and integrity and McSame thinks that’s a bad thing.

In reality, it’s probably out of jealousy McCain keeps saying it. He’s turned into the whore on the Hill.

The dirty little secret is that any issue the Democrats have acted in a bi-partisan way, and been wrong, are issues that McCain can't afford to point out as being a “bad thing,” like Impeachment. All he can do is paint a picture that Obama is a “company man,” and McCain is the “rebel.”

It’s time to call McCain out on his Bullshit, one turd blossom at a time.

Sarah Palin's Church is a cult

2008-09-06T21:27:00.000-07:00

Sarah Palin belongs to the cult Assemblies of God, or “AoG.” Below is video of this organization, but interestingly, it’s under the banner of “Morning Star Ministries.”

I don’t know if anyone has told these people, but in Latin, “Morning Star” is “Lucifer.”

This would mean that Sarah Palin could very well be an agent of Say-Tin.

I don’t know why that would be surprising. James Dobson is totally smitten with Sarah Palin, and that should be confirmation enough that evil is afoot.

Sarah Palin's Churches and The Third Wave from Bruce Wilson on Vimeo.

The Temperament Issue and the MSM

2008-06-30T08:57:00.000-07:00

After my return from a long overdue vacation, I noticed something that is really starting to bother me about the media’s love-affair with John McCain. They refuse to question the “temperament” issue.

During the 2004 Democratic race, Howard Dean was labeled a crazy person on the temperament issue. John Kerry, Captain Milquetoast himself, was questioned on the temperament issue because he tried to fluctuate is monotone voice that drove everyone to narcolepsy.

Yet, John McCain has escaped this scrutiny. The very same man who assaulted a women in a wheelchair back in 1996, because he was upset at something she said, according to Elliot D. Cohen in a guest column at Buzzflash. And even though there were several eyewitnesses and numerous complaints to the Republican controlled Senate Ethics Committee, it was never investigated.

Instead, when the MSM discuses McCain’s temperament, they say he “rises to passion” on issues he cares about. (Huh?)

If that’s not a media love affair, then it’s just blatant plagiarism of Jackie Collins. “Oh please, I so want to hear about John McCain’s passion…rising…” (rubbing nipples in a clockwise motion)

I mean, what’s not to love about John McCain’s old-person musk? And those body-crumbs, (gasp) are too sexy for words.

Sure he’s a grumpy old fart who reminds you of the Pappy who calls your sister a whore every Thanksgiving. Or, McCain could be the old-bat-shit crazy neighbor who threatens to kill your dog because somebody else’s dog was kind enough to shit on his lawn. To the media, it’s all good.

The media had better start doing their job and hold themselves to the same standards.

However, in a completely unrelated story, the Supreme Court ruled that the right to own a handgun in DC is an individual right enshrined in the Second Amendment.

Discuss.

Republicans Eating their own

2008-05-28T20:28:00.001-07:00

Scott McClellan’s new book called “What’s Happening,” has the slime machine at GOP-HQ freaking out. They’re pulling out all the stops to try and hide the fact that everything Scotty wrote is “duh, knew it already.” That is to say, Bush is a liar, Rove is a liar, and Cheney is a liar.

Still, that didn’t stop Rove & Co from denying that he had any part of anything while being called “the architect.”

Schaudenfraud – the German word for taking pleasure in another's misery. Saying it even feels good as it rolls off the tongue. It’s even better when witnessed on every punditocracy propaganda network.

No Life On Mars Will Be Found

2008-05-25T19:50:00.000-07:00

NASA landed another probe on the surface of Mars today. In search of the building blocks of life, and possibly, against all odds, life itself in the northern region where they suspect frozen water exists.

How much do you want to bet that NASA is NOT going to find any life on Mars?

How do I know?

Their probe landed on the surface while simultaneously sterilizing the ground around the probe with its 10 super-hot rocket thrusters as it “soft-landed” on the surface.

Any life, microscopic or otherwise, was instantly killed under this brain fart of scam.

“NO LIFE FOUND ON MARS” will be the headline. It should be “No shit, Dip-stick.”

Then again, landing on the surface where organisms which have been preserved for millions, possibly billions of years, with rockets that burn at close the temperature of the Sun, was just a simple oversight.

Kweef’s Law: Campaigning on the Issues

2008-05-17T09:50:00.000-07:00

The MSM has been blamed for not focusing on the “issues” in this election cycle. In their defense, they have, just not the issues that are important to the American people.

You see, when Democrats are in the lead, the issues relate to a common good, such as health care, social security, defense, jobs, economy, and all things interconnected to good government.

When a Republican is in the lead, the debate, or “issues” are always personal to the candidates, an airing of their personality failure, their defects, phobias, and inadequacies. To the MSM, personal deficiency, or personal issues are a lot sexier than dull governmental minutiae.

Fox News is the manifestation of those psychological malfunctions. A news network tailored to the deep seated psychosis of George W. Bush, the nuttiest guy to hold the highest office. Here you have a president that doesn’t read, (unproven that he can actually read in the first place), hears voices in his head he believes come from God, and invades countries based on his gut feelings. He’s a tyrant in every sense of the word, and tyrants have more “issues” than anyone else in the room.

So remember, the playground rule applies here, when a Republican accuses Obama of a personal flaw, “The one who smelled it, dealt it.”

Biggest Kweefer Of The Week.

2008-05-16T16:21:00.001-07:00

This week we are dedicating the prize of biggest Kweefer to George W. Bush for his complete lack of scruples and moral understanding of history and its lessons.

In a visit to Israel, pResident Bush accused Democrats of the same kind of appeasement that was done by Nevelle Chamberlin at the onset of WWII with the Nazi’s, which allowed the Holocaust to happen.

"We have heard this foolish delusion before,” said the Dumbass. “As Nazi tanks crossed into Poland in 1939, an American senator declared: 'Lord, if I could only have talked to Hitler, all this might have been avoided.' We have an obligation to call this what it is -- the false comfort of appeasement."

As far as I know, only one Democrat has ever said anything to a terrorist leader that could be construed as “appeasement,” the bone-head who said, “Impeachment is off the table.” Outside of whats-her-face saying that, not one Democrat has appeased any enemy of the state.

In fact, Barrack Obama’s grandfather served in WWII in the fight against Hitler. George W. Bush’s grandfather help finance Hitler through Brown Brothers Harriman, and built his family fortune off the slave labor of Auschwitz-Birkenau. Prescott Bush tried to over-throw the government of the United States. And Grand-dad was also a Yale disciple of the Eugenics Society of Connecticut which gave Hitler and the Nazi’s the idea of the “Final Solution” in the first place.

Yeah, the idea wasn’t German. It was from our aristocracy at Yale.

If there was one person in the whole world who shouldn’t be throwing stones in Israel, it would be anyone from the house of Bush.

Then this little weasel had the balls to stand before the Jews in Israel and claim it was people like Obama that were the problem.

The only intelligent thing to ever come out of Eugenics was in the 1927 case of Buck v. Bell, US Supreme Court Justice Oliver Wendell Holmes, writing for the majority said: “Three generations of imbeciles are enough.”

It’s just another case of not practicing what they preach. If Dubya had been a cum-stain on the sheets; he wouldn’t be a historical blemish on America.

GOP dont' worry. It’s not real, a myth.

2008-05-14T07:52:00.000-07:00

Rest assured GOP, the humiliating loss in MS-01 last night by Democrat Travis Childers, means nothing. To help put things in perspective, there’s a whole lot more evidence that Global Warming is real than there is that you’re in election trouble in ’08.

Sure, the polls don’t look good and three solid seats that you’d thought you’d have until the end of time have been lost, but think of it as the Northern icecap, no real equity has really been lost.

And yes, political analysts and pundits are spouting theories of your eventual doom. But, those are just theories, kinda like that whole “round earth” theory, which your advocates of Intelligent Design claim are false. They’re just theories, like “gravity.”

Even though the climate conditions that created the greatest natural disaster in the history of this country swallowed New Orleans. There is no reason to believe that the political conditions you’ve created by your own hand will garner the same result.

Please, do as you’ve asked us to do in Iraq…stay the course. Continue with your message of stealing from the poor to give to the rich, the American people love hearing it.

While you’re at it, bail out a few more Bankers while sticking it to home owners. Those who dream of owning a home are just greedy bastards anyway. And if you have time, give the Oil Industry another huge tax break while we’re screaming toward $5 gallon. That would be awesome.

Don’t worry. The American people aren’t drawing any connection to their unemployment, their non-existent savings, rising debt, and collapsing country to your failed policies of greed, gluttony, cruel bigotry and blood lust. Nope, the American people are clueless.

You should execute the ’08 election like you’ve executed the War on Terror. Keep attacking the person who’s not running for office (Rev. Wright) and associate that person to one who is (Obama), kinda like attacking Saddam Hussein by linking him to Al Qaeda. They all look alike anyway.

Sure, that whole thing ended in a complete disaster, but that doesn’t mean anything. Just think of it like attacking Iran, surely that would garner a different result.

Stay the course, you’re doing fine. Come November, you’ll be greeted as liberators, with flowers thrown at your feet. Trust Me.

Wife-Beater Strategy

2008-05-13T07:01:00.000-07:00

It’s not their fault. We made them abuse us with all our nagging and demands that our needs came before their buddy’s wants. And, if we take them back, they pinky swear, never to abuse us again.

Indeed. Today a memo was sent out to all House Republicans by House Minority Leader John Boehner (R-Ohio) that a change in strategy for the 2008 election is under way.

Saying “Washington is broken, the American people want it fixed, and Democrats in Washington have proven unable or unwilling to get the job done. Republicans will. Americans have seen first-hand the change Democrats are making, and it is moving America in the wrong direction. To the American people, we say that Republicans will deliver ‘the change you deserve.’”

Who’s fault is it that Washington is broken, again? Who’s beat down every initiative the Democrats have put forth? Now they promise “the change we deserve?”

Since the GOP has complete and utter contempt for the American people, civil rights, and Democracy, the question comes down to the details. What do you think they believe what we DESERVE after 8 years of Bush? More abuse, or a clean break from the politics of the past?

Somehow, I don’t think they have any interest in our best interests.

The GOP is not shamed, they’re not sorry, they’re not contrite. No, they’re only upset because the American people took away their driving privileges. They don’t care about us or our children. They only want the power to tell you how to live your life while stealing your kids’ future and giving it to their friends to party with.

No, the GOP needs to be completely castrated of all its elected officials, shamed and humiliated beyond despair. Only then can the wife-beaters in Washington see the error of their ways, thrown out on the street and left with nothing except their own miserable lives.

Welcome to Kweef...

2008-05-08T20:32:00.001-07:00

Well here we are at the inaugural post of the Kweef and even before I’ve had a chance to complete the setup of the blog, Tucker Carlson and Joe Scarborough were kind enough to vomit forth an excellent reason for this blog’s existence.

I would even go so far as to adopt Carlson as the Kweef mascot because who better illustrates the point that the media is an institutionalized pussy-fart? (Bill O’Reilly comes in a second.)
Tucker tells us that he’s soooo happy that the Dems are getting ready to nominate Obama, because Obama is the “weaker candidate.” This is coming from the same guy who “believed” Rudy ‘9/11’ Giuliani was going to be the next president.
How’d that work out for you Tucker?